Please Dixie D’Amelio, return to TikTok on Mute

When you watch the video for “One Whole Day” by Dixie D’Amelio, the YouTube algorithm is doing something really funny. The very next video he recommends is by Bo Burnham “This funny feeling” his latest Netflix special, Inside.

It could be based on our own vision, or it could be that even the same artificial intelligence that will someday swallow all of humanity’s hope is trying to warn you against D’Amelio and musicians like him.

Let’s break this bit of irony for those of you who are confused or who were lucky enough to never have heard D’Amelio’s name or music. Burnham’s song uses a beautiful guitar melody and witty lyrics to describe impending doom amid a widespread nonchalant attitude toward global tragedies. D’Amelio uses squeaky electronic beats and tired kindergarten rhymes to sing the same kind of angry heartbreak that has been sung since the days of the Dust Bowl. The only reason she got the chance to do this is because she’s popular on the internet, and more specifically on TikTok.

The irony is that our insensitive attitude to real pain – as we ignore the suffering of the world to focus on the lives of influencers – also elevates mediocrity to alarming levels of success for aspiring artists, and their banality takes precedence. above. idea of pain.

D’Amelio is not the first person to embark on a musical career just because she is famous. She is just the latest in a long line of them including Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and even Mr. T. She is however one of the worst celebrities to have made a transition to music and yes, we include Mr. T in our scale.

All you have to do is listen to “One Whole Day” for a whole minute and you will feel like you have wasted an entire day, an exceedingly large part of the little time you have allotted on Earth.

Usually, celebrities who are trying to find their way into music have at least a sense of spectacle and talent in their respective field that they use to create something with just a hint of heart, originality and artistry. . In short: they know how to hire the right people, and whether one of those people is themselves.

“One Day,” for example, is a single from D’Amelio recorded with Wiz Khalifa in a paint-by-numbers production that claims the numbers were never there in the first place.
Even if the song had a better track, it would just make it easier to hear the horrible lyrics. So, in a way, the shitty rhythm is doing you a favor by mastering what it says.

The chorus rhymes “sad” with “bad” and “day” with “face” and “fireplace”. Next, Khalifa arrives to make a solo appearance where he just rhymes (if that counts) the word “up” in the space of three lines. There are Sesame Street short films that dive into ballads with deeper rhymes.

If you think that’s too picky, let’s look at the theme of the song. D’Amelio was heartbroken by a guy who is barely described in detail beyond the basics of anything he’s done to make her feel “sad” and “bad”. So she cries (wait for that) “a whole day” when “a single tear ran down my face, while I threw your shit down the chimney”.

Wow. Using fire to overcome a broken heart is so poetic and unthinkable. It’s even more exaggerated when you realize that D’Amelio has gone mad because of “the time you left me alone at the party, when I didn’t even know anyone”. Maybe no one wanted to talk to Dixie because they know she’s the woman who burns things down when she’s sad.

The video takes him into laughable territory. The imagery is absolutely not original and goes from the angry queen to the chewing gum princess. It all seems pieced together with stock footage from Getty Images video.

D’Amelio tries to get a kind of sound that mixes the angst of Avril Lavigne with the colorful, pop spirit of Katy Perry. The video therefore swings with images borrowed from pop stars with real talent. D’Amelio crushes a car with a baseball bat to express his sad rage. (Miley Cyrus and Michael Jackson did it!) She’s lying in an inner tube in a pool of flowers. (Katy Perry and all the rap artists of the late 80s did it!) She sings while driving a car. (Every pop star who was too lazy to think of a better metaphor for leaving your problems in the dust has done it!)

The influencer is not the only one trying to capitalize on her online follow-up by moving to another medium. The cast of influencer Addison Rae in the remake of She is all that, the cleverly named wow He is all that, was a call to casting directors around the world to stop trying to turn influencers into multiple hyphens.

You cannot entirely blame D’Amelio for personal mass marketing in an industry that practically demands it. Almost every big star, from Elvis to Courtney Love, has tried to squeeze a new talent into every type of honeypot to see what sticks together. But just because the field is full of potential cash cows doesn’t mean we have to suck on the nipple.

D’Amelio’s music resembles the setup of a Black mirror episode trying to warn us about the dangers of getting fame using algorithms and optimized keywords. If that’s not a sign that the growing presence of technology may also hamper our emotional and artistic sensibilities, then we shudder to imagine what will.

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